Taking the fear out of the birth experience
Every birth is different. Every birth is new. Every birth has potential to empower women or to scar them for life.
As women, we start dreaming about having children at an early age. We think about how we will be the best moms we possibly can, how we will not make the same mistakes our parents did and how we will pretty much rock it! We see it as an achievement and we are looking forward to it!
We then find ourselves pregnant. Either by choice or by chance. We are pregnant and that baby has to come out one way or another. We know it. We just don’t want to think about it just yet. As we approach our due date, we look forward to holding the little treasure in our arms, but still push aside the fear that did nothing but linger. All these months, the thought has been there, somewhere: “How am I going to do this?”
We have heard about the horror stories, the pain, the cuss words, the screaming, the partner fainting, the chaos, the doctors ignoring your requests or birth wishes, the midwives lost between patients and procedures… We have also heard some good stories. Stories where the mother had the support she needed, where the people surrounding her spoke kindly and with respect, where she wasn’t yelled at to “push”, but encouraged to dig deep for her strength that lies within. But let’s be honest, those always seem like far fetched and carefully cherry picked, don’t they?
Truth is, they exist. Unfortunately, they are rare and seldom talked about. Instead, we always seem to come across the negative ones that do nothing but deepen the fear of birth. From generation to generation, from woman to woman, this is passed on as something to fear and run from. The fear and tension can lead to unnecessary c-sections, women left traumatized, sometimes severely depressed with long term consequences and even unable to connect to their newborn child. All because of how they birthed.
Childbirth is painful. There is no going around it. But you can be prepared for it without fear, without emotional scars and without regrets. And this includes those special situations, those emergencies where a c-section is required, where the mom lost blood and is in need of medical intervention, where the baby’s head got suck and needed forceps to help it out. It doesn’t matter what type of birth one has, what is important is the way we prepare for it and how we experience it. What matters are the people surrounding us in those crucial moments, the respect, the encouragement, the kind touch, the understanding and the encouragement we receive.
We often hear people saying “A healthy baby is all that matters”. But I beg to differ. That is not all that matters. The mother’s emotional well-being, her comfort, her needs being met, her confidence, her peace and her heart matters! All those things matter. They set the tone for what’s to come. Being a mother is hard. So let’s get the best start to motherhood we possibly can.
Birth is magical. It truly is. We bring someone to life and it will change us forever. This life changing event must be given importance. Prepare yourself for it physically, emotionally and spiritually and make sure you have the best support system you can have with you. Birth has the potential to empower you and ease your flight into motherhood for the adventure of your life!